One Step at a Time

Just wanted to say something in advance before I begin this post. I'm pretty sure I'll get a few comments telling me how grateful I should be. I KNOW how grateful I should be and how grateful I am. That's not a question. This is a place for me to vent and to share how I am feeling and how we are doing. If I am having a bad day, I am entitled to talk about it. The awesomeness of freedom of speech. That being said...

My emotions are all over the place. I'm feeling so scrambled. It has been a difficult time trying to find a place to live. Have there been places available? Yes. Are we not getting these places because we're being too picky? No. There is so little availability out here because this Army Post is huge. Base housing has a wait of 6-8 months. We basically decided then that we are going to be looking off post. And we have been doing that.

We begin looking online and found a couple of houses for rent that seemed really great. We needed to move fast because some houses that were available online were already taken by the time we called. We set up a time to check out a nice house. We were so excited. I loved this house. It was bigger than some of the ones we found online and it was for the same price. It was in a nice neighborhood and it was just great. I took a lot of pictures and could see us living there and have our dog and our things and everything.

So we went to the realty to fill out an application. Along with that we had to pay a $25 fee. Then we were told to call back in the afternoon to let us know how the application went. I called back and was very disappointed to find we were not approved and that there wasn't a reason written on the paper this lady looked at, but that we wouldn't be getting that house or any other house that realty had to offer and then she hung up the phone. I was pretty devastated. The finality of her words were just so rude, and not being given an explanation was very surprising. Of course I cried. I have been on edge so much lately because of more things and I just was not ready to be told no, we can't have our house.

We started to look for other places and called a realtor this time and went out to look at another house. This one was better than the first. I was a lot more hesitant this time and did not have my hopes up in the least bit. I really wanted this one too. We were sent to a different agency and filled out another application and paid $30 this time. We were told we would get a call within the next 24 hours and then all we had to do was wait. We got a call at 8 the next morning telling us that we weren't approved for that one either. They said that it had "something to do with the credit" and that they printed out a paper for us to come look at to see what went wrong. We went out there and it just turned out to be a number to call to check our credit score.

Kasey's credit isn't the best, but mine is. I can't help but feel like it's because I am not working and bringing in money that they aren't taking my credit into account. I wanted to wait to look for a job until we found a place and were settled, but now we cant get a place because I'm not working. It's been very hard. So we went to housing and they gave us a list of apartments and some brochures and I have been working my butt off looking online and calling places trying to find one with availability and one that allows dogs. The waiting game is so hard and it seems like that is all I ever do.

Kasey is worried about me. I feel like I am letting him down and letting my emotions get the best of me. I know it is hurting his feelings in return. He wants to make me happy. He wants to give me everything and we are just having a tough time getting everything right now. It will all work out, of that I am positive. I am just trying to keep my emotions in check, and I am having a tough time of it.

And this is why I feel so crazy and so all over the place. I am so bummed out about this and so emotional and having a hard time, but then I can't help but feel so happy. It's crazy being sad and happy at the same time, but I am. I am SO happy to be here with Kasey and I am so happy he's home and we get to do this together and get to be around each other. I am so thankful he has friends here and they're letting us stay with them. I feel bad because they are finally able to be together after all of these deployments and they need their alone time too.

Kasey has been amazing to me. Christmas was really good. Trevor, Jessica, Kasey and I all took turns opening presents and Jessica made us a wonderful dinner. I was completely spoiled. My family gave me everything even if I didn't ask for it or make a list or give them anything in return. I feel bad about that too. And my wonderful husband bought two tickets to go see the Red Wings play in Detroit in February.

ok. And I know we'll be ok, because I married a wonderful man who is so caring and he puts up with me. And he loves me for me. Even if I am a bawl baby.

Home?

We're here! And we have internet to hook our computers up to as well. It feels weird going from an I-phone for a couple of weeks back to a lap top. I like the clickity-clack this makes. Anyhoo...

The trip out here was great! We took three days and we got to see a few things and it was just a great experience to have together and I'm really happy to have made it here in one piece! We got along the entire time and that was perfect. I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to and I kept forgetting to grab my camera. But I will put up what I took when I get the chance.

We drove to Mt. Rushmore and that was pretty cool. It was very cold outside. We made it in the night before to Rapid City. It was incredibly foggy and when we were driving toward the sculpture we were worried if it had been a waste of time because we wouldn't be able to see it, but the skies cleared on the way and it was great! It's smaller in person, because you always see close up pictures of it and everything. The eyes were pretty creepy too. But I know I got a lot of pictures of that, so I will have to find a good one to post.

We went through St. Louis, during rush hour traffic no less, and it was so HUGE. I couldn't get any good pictures because of the stop and go traffic, but it was still amazing to see and I cant wait to go and check in out when we have more time. All of the sports arenas were pretty close to each other and close to the freeway and I thought that was pretty awesome. It was weird seeing a Home Depot right off the freeway and downtown. And there were like apartments or condos inside an old factory warehouse type building right on the side of the freeway. That was really cool to look at too. There were a lot of old structures in Missouri., we had driven through St. Joseph earlier in the day and that was pretty cool to see too.

We are staying with one of Kasey's buddies and his wife, and I am loving it here. They are so nice and I am so grateful to have a place to stay. Jessica and Trevor have been awesome. Their stuff just arrived today and I am so jealous watching them unpack everything and set their place up. I can't wait to do that.

We had been wanting to get a place on post, but Kasey heard form a friend that it might be at least 6 months to get one. We can't stay with the Sampson's forever! They need their alone time and to be able to have their spare room to themselves, and we need to be able to be alone and just be together alone finally. And I want to be able to set our home up too. So I think we will be looking off post if Kasey comes back today and confirms if the wait is going to be that long. We need somewhere that allows dogs since we want to get a puppy soon.

It will all work out, eventually. Unfortunately, it's still a waiting game. We will figure things out together though, and I'm so happy about that. Now I'm just waiting for him to get off work! He needs to hurry up! ;)

It's been awhile

I haven't been able to write in here for a little while. We've been extremely busy since Kasey got home. Plus, with him home, why be on the computer when I can be snuggling and spending time with him. It's so amazing having him home with me. Like just now he just bursts into laughter just to make me laugh. And randomly handing me things to distract me. Oh the simple things :D He's such a nut. Even during disagreements, it actually makes me happy that he's even home for us to be able to have them in person, instead of having to handle everything online and not know with what inflection words are being said.

We have the movers all set up to take care of our stuff. It feels so surreal that we'll be out of here pretty soon. There's still a lot to be done. We have gotten a lot done so far though and it feels great to have so many things so accomplished. Some more simple things, we got new phones together, we just got our first bill together today, we bought our first piece of furniture together last week. I am just so completely happy, I can't say it enough. I am so happy and grateful that I have him home with me.

Kasey took me handgun shooting for the first time last week and I'm addicted. I bought him a Taurus 1911 .45 ACP. And today he bought me a Charter .357 Magnum. It's pretty exciting, I get a big thrill out of it, and I want to go again. Today I was popped in the forehead by a .45 casing. That wasn't that fun. But it got a good laugh out of Kasey, I had a nice little black mark right in the middle of my forehead.

It's just nice to be together again, waking up together, and I know I'm being cheesy, but I have every right to be, try and stop me if you want!