Getting So Close

It's almost here! The day when I can get Kasey from the airport. The day we can finally start things off together, moving forward. It's kind of crazy to think about. I keep getting asked "Are you nervous?" "I bet you're pretty scared huh?" Um, no. I really am not. Maybe these people are scared themselves, but I couldn't be more anxious for this moment. "Scared of moving?" Absolutely not, when I'm following the love of my life and my protector. "I heard Kentucky is pretty crappy." So you've heard it is or you've experienced it? "You're sure you can handle it?" In the words of all the people on those crazy shows like Jerry Springer and Maury: "You don't know me!"

I am so completely excited for this moment. I don't know how many times I can say it for people to even understand. But the only person who really matters in this is Kasey, and I'm pretty sure he knows I am anticipating this as much as him.

I've been working so much overtime these past few weeks, so I am not leaving anyone high and dry at work. I'm pretty exhausted, but I wanted to make sure I had as much done as possible so I would be ready close out on Tuesday.

The goodbyes have already started. My hockey family was last week. I found my cat a new home, and took her there this past Thursday. I'm sure she'll be fine. It's just sad to see her go. And also on Thursday saying goodbye to one of my favorite patients I've ever come across, a Purple Heart Recipient. He and his mom have been coming in to see one of the doctors in my office for quite some time, and its always a pleasure to see them arrive and talk to me. They said the place will fall apart when I leave, theyre too sweet. He had wrote a book, and I was able to get it signed for Kasey and me.

I still have a lot of cleaning to do. I want everything to look nice when he gets back. I'm not the best cleaner, so we'll see how that really turns out.

But until then, I'm just hoping for good weather and a safe flight back to me! I can't wait!

Turning the Page

It's getting closer and closer and feeling more surreal as each minute passes. November 16th is coming and I can't wait for it. I catch myself holding my breath or bouncing up and down in anticipation.  I can feel myself getting more and more jittery. Seeing his face will put a huge smile on mine.

November 16th is going to be a big day. It will be my first day waking up in the last 4 and 1/2 years and technically not be employed. I will be looking for work. And then that night I will be picking my husband up from the airport, and then our lives can truly start together.

It's an intense feeling when you sit and think about it. It's a new chapter. Hell, it might even be a whole new book. We get to do so many things, and experience them together, as a married couple, husband and wife.

And the thing is, I'm not scared. I want it to be now. I didn't really care about my future too much before. I was in my own little world, having my own drama, not knowing what was next, not looking forward to anything, staying in the dark. And then the light and fire and drive came back into my life when Kasey did.

I have never wanted anything more in my entire life. I want to live together, I want to make food together, I want to have our own house, I want to go on walks, I want to go and get that first animal together, I want to have our babies, I want to be old and have grey hair and still hold hands with my soulmate, and have him tell me he still loves me. I want our life, and we can FINALLY start it. You may call me cheesy,  a dreamer, a romantic, but we have been given a precious gift: love, and I'm going to fight like hell to keep it.