Year Long Update

Well, once again, it's been awhile. I finally forced myself to sit down and write. This might be a long one since it has been about a year since my last post. I had said in that one that I would be writing again about our exciting new updates, and I never did. Now I have a full year's worth to catch up on things. I'll probably miss a bunch, but here goes.

Last May (2016), I applied for and was accepted for the Budget Analyst position in the Research Department! I have now been in that position for a year. It was a GS 9/11, which means I just got my promotion, effective May 28th. I am now a GS 11. This is huge news for Kasey and I. This year for work has been a roller coaster of ups and downs that I would prefer to not go into, but I made it, and I am not even 30 yet. This is a huge accomplishment and there are a ton of people that helped me get there.

Last June Kasey graduated with his Bachelor's degree in Health Administration. I was so proud of him. He was applying for jobs left and right (or was I doing that part for him?? ;) ). He was accepted for a position in the Transfer and Lodging Department at the VA and has been there almost a year now. Everyone loves him at work and he likes working there. He's been thinking on and off about going back to school to achieve his Master's degree. I fully support him if that is something he is interested in doing. I believe he said he'll need something like 15 more classes to achieve that? Or 15 more credit hours? I know it's 15 something.

For the past year I have also started seriously thinking about applying for college. I love learning new things and it would be nice to have some classes under my belt. The problem is that I would want to take history classes and writing classes, because I love writing. None of this has to do with my work at all though. I would want to go to school for what I want to do. If I am paying for it, shouldn't I get that choice? We're still thinking about how to make it work, with one or both of us starting up college, but it could be very beneficial for us in the long run.

I didn't draw out for deer or elk last year, so I didn't do much hunting or camping at the end of the year. It was seriously mostly spent working a TON to close out and begin the new year at work. Those months (September, October, and November) are very crucial due to it being the change of the fiscal year, and it is very hard to get away. But I did draw my deer tag for this year, and so did Brittni! She is doing the mentor program, so she will be going with us this year. I will for sure be taking some time off at the end of September, but I don't think any other hunting will be available to me until I get a better handle on my new job...which may still be a while.

In November Kasey and I adopted an adorable baby Australian Shepherd. She has been my focal point since then, taking her to training sessions, car rides, store trips. We are so happy we got her. We had forgotten though what it was like to have a puppy, and it was a rough first few months getting into the groove of things. She's been a sassy sweet handful and I couldn't imagine not having her.

Now on to all of the health issues. At the end of December I fell like a rock down our tile stairs flat on my left butt cheek, hitting every single step along the way. The bruise took months to go away. It finally seemed like it was healed, but the pain has come back recently. We are wondering if I damaged a nerve or something.

Last November, Kasey and I went to the OB-GYN, with me basically begging inside for him to give me a hysterectomy. It was Kasey who did the speaking for me, because for some reason I didn't want my doctor to judge me. I knew going in that basically our next step is another surgery, but would it be for a hysterectomy or just another laparoscopy to check things out and clear out more endometriosis that continues to grow and affect me.

I don't think many people understand, or they at least don't talk about, how painful these things are and how it is just not as simple as taking some pill or using a heating pad. It's not just painful periods, it is literally passing out in the bathroom because you feel like you are dying and you feel like your hips are disintegrating into sand, it's not being able to enjoy sex because it hurts so bad, or not even having a libido at all. The decision to want a hysterectomy is not me just being hormonal or too emotional to make a decision. It is wanting to not only see my quality of life improve, but to improve both Kasey's and my quality of life.

We have been trying for kids since September 2011. We have been through 3 miscarriages, with the last one being the worst. I still cannot bring myself to delete the photos from my phone, the video of surprising Kasey, announcing to his Dad and Erin. It would be like it never existed. Even though Kasey and I have moved on from wanting kids, I still can't bring myself to delete them. It is slightly easier being around more babies, but I still have those hard days where I don't want to see another announcement, I don't want to see another reveal, because we won't have that. I get frustrated when people announce names, and it's another cross off the list of names I had been holding out to name our children.

Not having kids has been a range of emotions: Anger, frustration, jealousy, heartbreak, exhausting, mentally taxing, emotionally draining, resentment, denial, reclusive, happy, sad, relieved, closure, less of a woman, letting my partner down. Kasey and I have had many talks, and he is so supportive and has my back 100%, but it hurts that I know that he would be an amazing dad, and that I am not able to give that to him. But it has also been nice not having kids. Kasey and I have made it work with just us and our brood of pets. I feel like our family is complete now.

But back to the health stuff. So at this appointment where I am crying and frustrated and not sure what to do, the doctor said he would want to do things in phases since I wasn't completely set on taking everything out. While I didn't feel pressure from him, I bet he didn't want to schedule a hysterectomy for someone who isn't even 30 yet. He said we could do a laparoscopy, but in the meantime maybe try and go on birth control pills. I hadn't been on birth control pills in five years, but I know before I had been on numerous ones because either they made me feel sick or my body would get used to them and they just wouldn't be effective in the sense of taking care of my issues.

I was extremely hesitant, but we decided it was the best option and to go for it. It was a rough first few months trying to figure it out. They made me extremely ill, and it was hard to function. But then we figured that if I took them in the evening instead of the morning, they didn't effect me. I had never been regular in my entire life, and I was now able to start planning things out, months in advance, because I could basically count on a 28 day cycle. Things were looking up. I had a followup with the doctor and he even offered to go on a 6 week option instead of a 3 week on-one week off option, and we were considering it. Then the hives started....

At the end of April, I started getting hives here and there. They were a minor nuisance, but got progressively worse. When it had been two weeks, I was able to get in to see my primary care physician. He wasn't sure what was causing them, but prescribed me Prednisone, Zantac, and Zyrtec. The Prednisone was a nightmare. I mean it literally gave me nightmares, but because I was taking Zyrtec that makes me sleepy, I was basically stuck in my dreams every night like it was some Freddy Krueger fantasy of someone not being able to escape the terror. Then I was having severe mood swings. One day I would be fine, and then the next I would be hysterically crying and morose the entire day because of something so tiny, but then everything bothered me and it felt like the world was ending. My face swelled up and I didn't want to workout at all. It was extremely hard to focus on anything at all, and work was getting rougher, so it didn't help. BUT the hives went away!!

I eventually tapered off of the prednisone and my last pill was on Thursday 5/18. That Saturday I had a small recurrence, but I was told that would happen, and by Sunday it was gone. I had a few spots on and off throughout the week, but nothing that bothered me, and they'd disappear the next day as if they didn't exist....then this past Tuesday rolled around....

I woke up Tuesday morning and noticed I had spots on my legs and my hips. By the end of the day they were all over my arms. I scheduled an appointment with my primary care for Wednesday. He was just as flummoxed with why they came back. He told me to take more of the Zyrtec but didn't want to put me on the prednisone again so soon, and referred me to an Immunologist/Allergist. I called that person and he was scheduled out until August 14th. There was no way I could wait that long. By Thursday they were all over my chin and part of my face, all over my legs, arms, back, chest, stomach. My ankles swelled up throughout the day so bad, that by the end of the day I couldn't stand on them at all. I had lumps all over the palms of my hand and I couldn't grip anything. My joints were in so much pain. So I was able to get in with a different Immunologist for Friday morning. Thankfully it was my day off, because when I woke up, one of my eyes was swollen shut and I had lumps all over my forehead. I felt miserable. I took a shower. The last time I had the hives, showering was a relief. With this set of hives, it was extremely painful. It felt like I was burning, they stung so bad.

From the time I woke up to the time I was finally seen by the doctor at 10ish, my lumps had progressed so bad. If some of you saw my recent Facebook post, I added some pictures in the comments for you to see. The doctor was initially at a loss. He sprayed some nasty numbing stuff up my nose and shoved a scope down it to look at my vocal cords. Let's just say I don't think I was all that number up because it started to hurt and I became lightheaded. My vocal chords looked clear of any hives, but I needed to lay down for a few minutes to recover. He started thinking it was Stevens-Johnsons syndrome, which is basically a reaction to medication. But he was worried it could also be something else, because there were no sores present on my vocal cords nor anywhere in my mouth. He walked out for a moment and came back with a Rheumatologist. He looked me over and was perplexed as well. He said it looks like a reaction to something I am ingesting or it could be something viral. He said low priority would be something autoimmune, but to run that bloodwork anyway just in case.

He told me to stop the birth control pills immediately, continue on the Zyrtec, ordered more Prednisone, and sent me on my way downstairs to get lab work done. I started feeling a bit upset. "Stop the birth control pills". This was basically something that was pushing off surgery for me, and also giving me some sort of life where Kasey and I could make plans around my cycle. Kasey and I are now going to need to have another conversation about our plans.

I made my way downstairs and they called me back for the bloodwork. The guy started pulling out vial after vial. The end number was 11. I've never had a problem with getting my blood drawn. But he put the tourniquet on and instantly it feel extremely painful in my hand. Since I had been so swollen and itchy, my skin and joints had become so sensitive. My hand started turning blue, but I tried to suck it up, I've felt worse. After about 3 vials, I told him I wasn't feeling so good. Then about 5 or 6 vials in I told him I was going to pass out. He instantly pulled the needle out and wrapped my arm and said he was going to check and see if there was a bed open.

the next thing I remember is a ton of commotion and I am somehow laying on the ground and I can feel that I am sweating profusely. I have NEVER passed out before when getting my blood drawn. I actually always prided myself about how I could get my blood drawn and never have any issues. Well not anymore. Then the paramedics arrived. I was still feeling horrible. They did a sugar blood test and surprisingly for fasting, my levels were 113. To save me an ambulance bill, they very nicely pushed me over to the hospital right next door. I am so glad I didn't throw up on any of them, because I felt like I was going to the entire time. They gave me an IV and did some more bloodwork.

The Allergist came over to see me and said he sent some of my pictures to his Dermatologist friend who also agreed that it looks like I am reacting to something and reiterated to stop the birth control pills, and try to think of anything going back to April of something new or something changed that I came into contact with, including people who were sick....well I know several people at work that come in sick all the time...I just don't know what they're sick with. He said he would look over the bloodwork, and I have a followup appointment this next Thursday. I am seriously hoping for some answers.

Now I am at home, trying to rest. I haven't been feeling well all day. The hives have gone down considerably, but I am starting to feel more and more itchy as the day progresses, and it is extremely frustrating. I am hoping for relief soon.

Thankfully Kasey is like the perfect specimen and is in perfect health....or so we thought. We have finally found something wrong with him!!! Kasey has a severely deviated septum and swollen turbinate in his nose. We found this out I believe sometime in January or February and finally scheduled surgery for him on June 19th. Kasey has never had surgery like this or been put under anesthesia before. I think we're both a little nervous. I am just looking forward to him being able to breathe better and smell the things I always smells yet he tells me I have a brain tumor because he doesn't smell it at all. And this should help his sleeping immensely. We got a sleep number bed at the end of the year and it tracks your breathing and how restless you are and I believe he is sleeping horribly because of his nose. I can't wait to be able to see improvement for him!

So these are the few things that have been going on with us since a year has passed. I am sure I have missed a ton, but I am normally on Facebook and Snapchat and post most of our goings on there. I choose not to post much stuff about work anymore, because we know that can come back to bite you (Kathy Griffen), so it is just best to leave it off of there haha but this has been us in a nutshell!

Born Free, As Free as the Wind Blows

It's been a little while. I will be making a post about some updates that Kasey and I have probably in the next day or two (if you're still following me), but this is something that I have been thinking about a lot, and I wanted to get it out there. Full disclosure: you may or may not like what you read or it may change your opinion of me, but that's the beauty of this being my blog. This is also extremely personal information, so if it begins to make you feel uncomfortable, you do not have to keep reading.

Something had been eating at me from several weeks ago, and I subconsciously wasn't letting it go. There was a conversation going on with unnamed parties (as I don't find that pertinent information to this story) discussing about instances of boyfriends being jerks and the woman had then begun dating another woman. I believe in many if not most cases when a person "jumps ship" on the gender they were dating, they are being viewed as going through a phase or doing it for attention etc. I thought I had felt this way as well, but I really don't and I have grown up and have my own thoughts and opinions separate from those of whom I was hanging out with at the time to mold my views around, to fit in.

I don't think it's fair to say that someone is wrong for wanting to date. Why does who someone else dates have to fit the mold of your own agenda. "Oh, they were in a serious relationship with a man for X amount of time, so they must date another man next." What's wrong with depending on the shoulders of your friends when you are going through a rough time and you realize you actually really like this person and you want to date them? And if they really are just testing it out, what's wrong with that?

I don't necessarily believe that it all just comes down to attraction. Of course it has a lot to do with it. But emotional connection is just as vital. What does it matter what gender? It's not as simple as "well Tabitha, look at that woman, are you sexually attracted to her? Are you sexually attracted to most women?"

Why does it have to be one or the other? When I was younger I never even envisioned having sex with a man, let alone anyone for that matter. "Do you think about other women or can you envision having sex with a woman now?" Actually no, because TMI, I envision having sex with my husband in our monogamous relationship we have.

However, I can't say where my life would be if I were not married or who I would be dating or married to. I could equally as much be with a man as I could be with a woman.

Though, with my feelings out there, because I am married to a man and have never dated a woman, I therefore can not be "considered" anything besides straight? I didn't know there conditions and hoops I need to jump through to be who I am and feel the way that I do. 

So you can stop talking to me if you want, pray for me, judge me, try to change me, tell me I'm wrong for my feelings, but this is who I am. And I hope you can love and accept me for who you perceived me to be 5 minutes ago before reading this, because unless I have somehow literally done you wrong by this, I am still the same person I have always been. Love is love.

If you've made it to the end, thank you, and I'll be posting soon about our exciting new updates :)

Some Clarity

This week is going to be a rough but doable week. Some big changes are happening at work. My boss is extremely ill. We learned he had two tumors in his brain, one in his abdomen, and one in his lung. He missed grants week and we knew something was up when he didn't come in. Last year when he had a bad cold, he was at work til all hours of the evening and the weekend, but he didn't come in at all. Thankfully he had surgery on Friday and they extracted the bigger of the two brain tumors. We'll know hopefully soon his next step in treatment and where to go from there.

It just breaks my heart because he was planning on retiring this coming January, and this happens? What kind of crap is that? He is probably one of the nicest guys. He reminds me a lot of my dad and Kasey and it really hits home. I'm trying to stay positive on his prognosis, but I don't think we'll be expecting him to come back to work, at least for awhile, and if anything he'll probably just come in to close things out. I think that is what I would do if I had less than a year til retirement.

This week will also mark the year since my due date. If we had had our baby, they would have potentially been turning one this week. Such a big milestone that we won't get to. Although Kasey and I are in a good place and ok with not having kids, sometimes it can get really rough and I need a moment. It's hard when your body doesn't do what it is supposed to do or what you want it to. It feels like a failure. Obviously there is nothing that I did and nothing that I could have done. It's hard to express what I mean.

One thing that seemed like such a coincidence or something meant to be is when we adopted our new kitties in July. When we went to Petsmart and fell in love with that little black fuzzball I knew I had to have him. As we received the paperwork I looked at his birthday and it was 3/15, the same week as what our estimated due date had been. He is turning one this week.

 

I know Nox is a cat, but he is exactly what we needed. He is like our little fuzzy baby. He talks back, he cuddles, he plays with his food, and makes a mess. He makes me feel better when I don't feel well, makes me happy when I feel sad, and he makes me laugh. He doesn't seem bonded to Lumos like they said he was, but I don't think our little family would feel as complete if we had come home without him either. I wish people would understand the connection I feel with our little monsters and not laugh at me haha

Kasey is SO close to graduating. Just a couple months left. He has begun applying for jobs on base and at the VA as well as other places. I am so excited for him and proud of how far he has come. I can't wait for his next steps.

Some job opportunities may be coming up for me. I am not going to hold my breath, but I am going to work hard for it and see where it takes me. I'll keep you updated if it progresses. I am going to try and keep my positivity and not let the stress of things to come deter me from where I'm trying to go.

So You Won the Jackpot...What Now?

By now, you'd have to be living under a rock to not know that the Powerball is at a $1.5 billion jackpot, and that number could-and will most likely-change by tomorrow. I bet you've thought about what you'd like to do with the money. But have you really thought about it? Like had a serious thought about what might happen if you actually did beat the staggering odds and won the money?

I think it's a good idea to write this down. What is the first thing that really comes to your mind?What's the second? And the third? If you wanted to, who would you give money to? Would you donate any money? Think about it seriously, what would it mean to you to win?

Now look at your list. These are your goals, your hopes and dreams. Some things may seem extravagant, and some things may be actual things that you are striving for that could actually happen. You don't need to win the lotto to make your dreams come true. Sure, it will take a hell of a lot of hard work and time and energy, but if you strive for it, it can happen.

I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice to win, and though money isn't everything, it can help you reach your dreams faster, SO your odds of winning may seem extremely slim, but you will never win if you don't go out and try. The same as you won't accomplish your goals if you wait for money to fall into your lap.

Good luck everyone!

Existential

Trying to figure out who you are as a person is never-ending. Who you are, who you’re going to be, where you’re going. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I’m still working it out. I’m still growing up. Am I past the point I should be to actually figuring it all out?

 

High School is never over. The judging never stops. People’s opinions and comments come at you. They find you and tear at you, leaving their marks as they go. You’re judged for being too different. But when you try to fit in, they call you fake and remark on your inability to do anything right.

 

As you grow up, you realize that kids are mean and you learn to get over it. You can forgive, but it is so hard to forget. It’s hard to forget someone shoving letters in my locker with the word “Poser” written over and over on it, letters that were from my friends. It’s hard to forget being teased for the way that I looked: “Four Eyes” “Big Nose” “Your clothes are so dark. Are you trying to be goth?” “Your hair is so short. Why’d you cut it like that? Now you look like a boy.” It’s hard to forget being the new girl in a new state in a new school with no friends “Why do you talk like that?” “What’s your religion? Wow, you believe in something else? You tripped me by looking at me, you must be a witch”  It’s hard to forget being called a lesbian because I never had a boyfriend in High School, but somehow also a rumor going around that I was a whore that slept with the entire football team, even though I never knew anyone on the team.

 

I can let it go in the sense that I see the humor in how people didn’t know me, or were young and aren’t that way now; in how these are silly, unimportant things, that shouldn’t affect me anymore.

 

But some days it does. It affects me in the way that I feel about myself. It affects me in the way that I programmed myself growing up. It makes me question myself. Will I be good enough? Will I be smart enough? What am I going to do wrong?

 

And the judgments don’t stop when you graduate. People questioning your life choices: If you get married too soon or not soon enough. What is too soon? Who decides that? People questioning your decision on who to date or who not to date. People questioning where you work. People questioning your beliefs, your stances, your opinions. If it’s different than theirs then it is automatically wrong. “Oh you like guns? You must be ok with people murdering other people.” “You’re a hunter? You must be heartless.” “You eat meat? That’s disgusting.” Or it’s the way that you look: “You look like you’ve gained weight.” “You’ve lost weight? You’re too skinny.” “You have tattoos? You must not value your body or your self-image or self-worth. You must not want a good job.” Or about things that you have no control over: “Why don’t you have kids yet? You’re running out of time.”

 

It’s thoughtless. Thoughtless comments, about things that aren’t anybody’s business, that shouldn’t matter. But they do sometimes. Why is that?

 

These comments seem so asinine that there’s no way people have actually said them, right? Maybe I am just imagining that people are thinking these things about me? And if I am, what got me to that point? But they must have been said at least once for the idea to be there in the first place right? The questions that you ask yourself: Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I doing something wrong?

 

I want to write books. I enjoy it. It helps me clear my head. I have so many ideas. But I seem to have an increased crippling fear of being judged that I can’t even get my thoughts straight to write them down. And it’s not like I plan on having anyone ever reading them in the first place. But maybe it isn’t a fear of being judged. Maybe it’s a fear of “what if”? What if they are good? What if people would actually like them? Then I am putting myself out there. Am I ready for that?

 

Then the fear of the unknown hits randomly. Am I running out of time? When is it going to be up? Life can be so very short. What am I going to accomplish? Am I focusing on the wrong things? Why do I worry so much about things I can’t control?

 

Most days I am doing good. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a job, a car, a house, adorable pets that make me happy, and a wonderful husband who loves me for the quirky person that I am even when I have dark days.

 

So then the task comes to building myself up. There are only so many things people can say to make you feel good about yourself. You need to work on making yourself feel better too. I am good enough. I am smart enough. I’m not doing anything wrong. My husband believes in me. I need to start showing that I believe in me too.

Summer Is Only Just Beginning

I really need to keep up on this. I just read my last post about all of the things I had hoped to have finished by the next time I wrote and that hasn't happened. BUT I think we hope to get the baseboards done soon, and then we can have people over. Summer has "officially" started, so it would be great to have a get together.

Mother's Day passed. It just makes me think hard about some things. Part of me is quite fine with it just being Kasey and I. Other times it's frustrating. But I'm learning to cope while we decide what is best for us and focusing on the NOW.

However you know the phrase "baby hungry"? Well I am "fur-baby hungry". It doesn't help that this month all cats above a year old at the humane society are free. Then I think, wait, do I want a cat or a dog? And then I get annoyed with the pets I already have and then just decide it would be best to have no pets at all haha

I don't think Yzzy would be very happy with us if we came home with another furball like her. She likes to think she is the queen of the house. And we still can't decide on what kind of dog we would get if we got one. I am adamant I want a German or Australian Shepherd. Kasey wants a Lab.

The garden is growing nicely. And the new grass is getting there. With the heat, the soil is drying up so quickly and we are trying to constantly keep it wet. I actually should be out there right now to give the garden some water, but the neighbors are outside and Chester can't be running around barking at them. We just got him fixed yesterday. Hopefully he'll start listening to me more....Probably not though haha

I'm having issues focusing. I want to write all of the time, but it's always when I am not able to, like at work or driving. But by the time I get home, I am so exhausted that I just want to relax and have lost the motivation to move my lazy arms to reach for the computer. And my brain is so melted by then that nothing would really come flowing out at that point. I honestly feel that if I had a week away from all distractions and responsibilities that I could get a good amount of any of my books done. But I can't really just shut myself off from everything and everyone.

Work has been good. Even if I complain about it, I still have had worse experiences in previous jobs. Basically every job has it's issues and we learn from them for future experiences. I think growing up has a bit to do with it as well. I am able to take more stress and frustrations than I used to be. It doesn't mean it isn't exhausting though and that I don't need to take those "mental health days" to get away from the bullshit every now and then. But I do my best to focus on my work, and have been going in on the weekends and working a lot of overtime to take care of all the extra duties I take on.

Kasey doesn't have much longer with school. He should be able to graduate at the end of the next spring semester! And then he can start trying to get a job at the VA (or wherever he wants). I am so proud of him and everything he has been able to accomplish. He's done an amazing job taking care of our little family. I like to believe that we make a wonderful team.

Well, the heat is on outside and summer is only just beginning. I can't imagine how much hotter it can get, I don't even want to try to. It's supposed to be in the hundreds next week. I think I'll be spending a lot of time lying on the floor trying not to die. Maybe we'll eventually move farther north....

Snapping Back to Reality

Well I didn't write in here in February, so I already fail with writing at least once a month. But I'm forcing myself to sit down and type since I took a day off!

Today would have been my due date. I know babies don't always come on their due dates; it's an estimation. But since today was the date I was given it's been sticking with me, and I knew it would just be nice to not go to work today thinking "I should be in labor potentially right now".

I think I've been doing better with our decision to not try for kids. But I still have my random bad days. I think sometimes things just hit me hard like when people announce or talk about their symptoms and post their names that I'm pretty sure I had mentioned we had planned to use. But hey, you had your baby first. Other days though these things don't bother me. So then my reactions make me feel crazy and bad for feeling this way. Maybe I'm not doing better....hahaha

There was this competition to win an Inn in Maine that I saw randomly online (and then it was all over the news), and I just had a light bulb and decided I would absolutely put in for that. Why not, you know? I had small doubts but I squashed them. I was so determined. Even if I didn't get it, and $125 is a good amount of money I could spend on other things, I thought it would be nice for someone else to win it and my entry helped make it happen. But then randomly I was on their Facebook page and someone posted about needing to take out a loan to pay for the approximate $400,000 taxes and such. 

I was probably a bit naive to think it would be so simple as to win a place for a 200 word essay and $125. But as soon as I had seen the competition I just HAD to go for it. So many ideas popped into my head with what we could do with it. I definitely had this whole idea for Veteran retreats and discounts as well as other things. I knew that I wasn't a chef or hadn't managed a hotel, or inn, or anything like that, but I had the drive and the determination to absolutely make it work!

So now I'm snapping back to reality, and I don't think that I'm going to put in for it, BUT it planted that little seed of what I want to work for. Kasey still wants to own a guide service and I would love to have a retreat of some kind for Veterans. I just need to work harder, write more, and save more and just believe that we can make it happen.

Our house is coming along nicely. I want to get our baseboards in and then we can have a housewarming party! I just think it would feel so much more complete with those baseboards in. It's weird, I know. The weather is warming up and we're working on the yard. When I say "we", I mean mostly Kasey. He has been phenomenal! He's so happy with a yard to work on. I think it makes him feel super manly ;)

Hopefully by the next time I post, we will be ready for our get together and I will be able to post before and after pictures of our progress we've made. I can't wait!