This week is going to be a rough but doable week. Some big changes are happening at work. My boss is extremely ill. We learned he had two tumors in his brain, one in his abdomen, and one in his lung. He missed grants week and we knew something was up when he didn't come in. Last year when he had a bad cold, he was at work til all hours of the evening and the weekend, but he didn't come in at all. Thankfully he had surgery on Friday and they extracted the bigger of the two brain tumors. We'll know hopefully soon his next step in treatment and where to go from there.
It just breaks my heart because he was planning on retiring this coming January, and this happens? What kind of crap is that? He is probably one of the nicest guys. He reminds me a lot of my dad and Kasey and it really hits home. I'm trying to stay positive on his prognosis, but I don't think we'll be expecting him to come back to work, at least for awhile, and if anything he'll probably just come in to close things out. I think that is what I would do if I had less than a year til retirement.
This week will also mark the year since my due date. If we had had our baby, they would have potentially been turning one this week. Such a big milestone that we won't get to. Although Kasey and I are in a good place and ok with not having kids, sometimes it can get really rough and I need a moment. It's hard when your body doesn't do what it is supposed to do or what you want it to. It feels like a failure. Obviously there is nothing that I did and nothing that I could have done. It's hard to express what I mean.
One thing that seemed like such a coincidence or something meant to be is when we adopted our new kitties in July. When we went to Petsmart and fell in love with that little black fuzzball I knew I had to have him. As we received the paperwork I looked at his birthday and it was 3/15, the same week as what our estimated due date had been. He is turning one this week.
I know Nox is a cat, but he is exactly what we needed. He is like our little fuzzy baby. He talks back, he cuddles, he plays with his food, and makes a mess. He makes me feel better when I don't feel well, makes me happy when I feel sad, and he makes me laugh. He doesn't seem bonded to Lumos like they said he was, but I don't think our little family would feel as complete if we had come home without him either. I wish people would understand the connection I feel with our little monsters and not laugh at me haha
Kasey is SO close to graduating. Just a couple months left. He has begun applying for jobs on base and at the VA as well as other places. I am so excited for him and proud of how far he has come. I can't wait for his next steps.
Some job opportunities may be coming up for me. I am not going to hold my breath, but I am going to work hard for it and see where it takes me. I'll keep you updated if it progresses. I am going to try and keep my positivity and not let the stress of things to come deter me from where I'm trying to go.
